the Second Dream

Dreams quickly fade with the clearing of the fog of night, yet a few linger in the waking eye. Three such dreams have I known one of past one of now and one yet to come. These dreams have etched a path on my life well beyond the sweet land of sleeps .

the Second Dream

It was the night before Christmas and I lay restlessly awake in the up-stars of my grandmas house. To hasten the greedy daylight I tried to drift off to sleep by to play a fantasy throe my head. I set the place in a dark ally and Courtney, a cute girl from our old church walked alone a bit head of me. It seamed that we had been separated from the rest of the group. Here there was no one to see or know what happened, I was a lonely ally and safe in this dream world. My thoughts stated to turn to lust, I began to plan how I would rape her in this dream land. my fantasy was interrupted by a unwanted intruder, someone my mind did not wish into the dream. A man dressed in black jumped out of the shadows and lade holed of her and began to abuse her. My blood boiled as I raced to her aid. We fought like furies from hell and at last I pinned him to the ground and wraped my hands around his throat. As he struggled the ski mask came off and with rage I looked down on his face and into my own eyes…
I woke up gasping and vowed to fight him (my sinful part), to destroy him and all his bothers even if it cost me my life.

It was not many months ago that this dream came back to life more vividly than ever before. I was on a mission trip on the gulf coast with my church youth group we were walking back from dinner late at night and we took another rout back to the place where we where staying. Kristen and Jordan walked beside me most of the group had gone much father ahead by the time we got to an ally. My breath left me as I stepped into it... it was the same ally as my dream. I had never been there before in my life but I recognized every detail, the trash can, the board leaning against the brick wall... every thing.… All the mussel in my body tightened and my mind waited for anything from within or without and my heart stood guard of it's gates. I believe that if a cat had tried to cross that ally at the time I would have kicked it across town, I was that on edge. I left that ally and felt that in a way I had passed a great test, there will be more to come but I know that I am on the right path, Gods path.

In Blood

Theye stood before the justice. She trembled as she thought at his love for her. All her dreams where coming true. The justice leaned over his heavy desk and pushed the unsigned covenant toward them and handed him an old pen.
Tenderly he looked at her, his eyes filled with love. He took out a knife and pierced his hand. The blood dripped onto the pen which he carefully took up and wrote his name with smooth confident strokes of life blood.
Her eyes turned and met his as he placed the pen in her hand but her eyes could hold his gaze because Fear and grief began to tear at her heart. Her blood was tented, impure and poisoned by her old life. Tears filled her eyes ,how many time has she given herself away? How many time had she willingly filled her blood with the poison? Why had she killed her very heart with hate for him? Her tears pored down her face as she tried to hold back the sobs that chocked her.
He reached over and touched her shoulder. How could he love me now? She thought. How had she fooled herself in to thinking that he could love her? She heard him move and could not bear to look and see if he had left.
His voice spoke “I love you” she looked and saw him kneeling before her.
“how could you still love me if you knew who I really am?”
“still? Dear one I have never “still” loved you because I always have and always will. My blood still fills the pen, let it cover your vow because I will not fail.”
His strong hand wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned her face to his. “look on where else my love, not even to the past for I will never leave you or stop loving you.” gently her raised her to her feet and guided her tender hand in each pen stroke. Not once did his eyes leave hers for truly they never had and never would…

wispers by moon light

Friday and Saturday…
I drove home and went to ALERT it only took me 1:20 min to dive the distance but I was glad for it to be over. There was a light turn out at ALERT but it was one of the best meeting I have been to. I have never given or received so much there before. At about 11pm, I went to the church camp out at woods reservoir. What I saw that night I never want to forget.
The moon rose full and giving light to the darkness. the water was like rippling glass and a small fire crackled before my feet. It was glorious… My dad and some of the other guys where out on a boat on the other side of the lake fishing and their joyful laughter merrily drifted across the water. I took a kayak and set out to meet them. My paddle kissed the water lightly as my craft speed on its silvered journey over the glassy waters. Only the soft moonlight guided my path and only the laughter of the water about my boat and the night song of the woods met my ear. I would be content to live the rest of my life in that moment.
Once I reached the middle of the lake my kayak tipped (the first time I have ever done that) I plunged into the refreshing water and found my self even more alive. When telling this tale many have thought it unfortunate to have tipped so, but I assure you it was a blessing through and through. For a minute I struggled trying to get my craft sea worthy once more but it was of little use by my self with out firm ground to stand upon. Since there was little use trying to get it to carry me I would have to carry it. I tied the bow of my kayak to my belt and set my life jacket under my shoulders to keep my head out of the water. I lifted my paddle once more to ply the waters.
The trip back was even more glories that the fist part. I felt the power of my arm and chest heave against the placid water and the war song on my breath vibrated through my body and caused the water to tremble about me. Worriers blood pored though my veins with magnificent intensity and strength. My eyes where fixed into the heavens where the moon and her stars glided through the clouds. The clouds took the shape of a sign, not merely an Imagined shape but a shape so clear and sharp that anyone on that night might have looked up and saw the same thing.
Such was the grace shown to me that night. Perhaps there will be a day I will speak of what was written in the sky that immortal night but not now.

My room

these are some pics of my room

(you can click on then to get the full size)

Once apon a time