Blair (feint love)

the old house rambled on like many old house are apt to do. rooms had been added on a changed so many time that the once simple plan now was pleasant labyrinth of bed rooms sitting rooms dens and forgotten hall ways.

With such a wondering plan i had been given careful direction to my quarterer's which i found to be in a quite remote and rich part of the house. The walls where covered with rich wallpaper and heavily draped with deep fabric. it would have felt very close and smothering if the room was so large that the paneled ceiling seemed to be from along line of ancestors that spanned the great cathedrals of old. Even with all the grad finishing it seamed that part of the room was unfinished. Perhaps it had been in the middle of repair and then forgotten as studs where all that made wall like a row of unhewn pillars.

In the midsts of the room where stored the trapping of a luxury finished house and it was in these that i found my bed pilled with conformers, throws and satin. In an alcove i found a ancient claw-foot tub where I determined to wash the dust of travel from my weary body when the door to my room opened and a maid announced that dinner was to be served shortly.

Slightly annoyed by the disturbance to my quite reflections I curtly dismissed her and set about unpacking my toilet. Only moments latter, as i was laying my jacket aside, I was interrupted again by a servant who began brashly announcing dinner but stopped as I angrily turned to dismiss her. She quietly opened the door and began to approach me with bold familiarity. A practical black dress hung about her young but weary figure and her hands where cracked and dry from washing. I was immanently was repulsed as she reached for my hand and gently spoke my name. It was not until she took my hand that i looked into her face and recognized her, Blair.

In a different life she we had been many thing to each other. I had been her confort when her aunt passed away and we had shared countless sweet secrets in the midst of gay parties.we had thought thous days could never end but now I met her as a stranger and regarded her with cold disdain.I was a man of position now and she had fallen to common work.

She moved into my arms and we stepped into silent dance; no music played as she spun across the soft carpet. My heart could see clearly that she had not fallen but she was stronger and purer than ever. Her cracked hands had worked with kind faithfulness but now they held mine as her sure feet stepped to the unheard tune we both knew. her eyes, once wild with youthfulness, were now quite and deep with wisdom.

while my heart knew all that was true, my mind could not see past its own selfish ambitions. my thoughts waged war on the truth to make her out to be just a common girl that i had once had deluded me. In cold ambition it sealed my heart and Blair became just a silly woman that had interpreted my thoughts with her brash intrusion and presuming actions. my arms lost their familiar hold and i took a step alway as the soundless tune was ended like a recored jerked of the turn table.

She looked at me with confusion and then turned and left hastily as her breath suddenly became sharp and choked.

My proud reason had just destroyed the one thing that was still worth saving in my life and reject the last person who loved me completely

~the Dreamer